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Back to the Notes from the Coach Table of Contents November 2006, Acknowledge ThemMusingI admit that I’m a bit ecstatic about the election results — shifts happen! It’s music to my soul to hear talk of dialogue, non-partisan collaboration. Let’s continue to hold this vision for our government and for the world.I had the opportunity to attend the annual conference of the International Coaching Federation in St. Louis this month. I came back inspired and reenergized about the profession of coaching and its role in helping people create meaning and purpose in their lives. Our U.S. Thanksgiving is almost here again. I acknowledge it’s mostly about good food. Hopefully, it’s also about deepening our focus on gratitude and appreciation. I invite you to make this holiday meaningful and joyous and to spend it with people you love, even if it is your dog or cat. Remember that loving and accepting is a choice. So no matter who you choose to spend the holiday with, no matter how adorable or obnoxious they are, your goal could be peace and joy. You’re in charge of that experience for you. Make it a good one! ToolAfter years of coaching businesses, I have concluded that praise is rare in most workplaces, and I’ve never heard any employee complain of "over-recognition".Since this is the holiday of gratitude, I want to encourage all of you to be more conscious of expressing your gratitude and appreciation in the workplace. If you are like me, it is easy to notice and address anything that could be improved or changed. We professional critics need a filter shift, because it is much more productive for all of us to focus on and enhance others’ strengths, rather than their weaknesses. As Tom Roth says in How Full Is Your Bucket, "shine a light on what is right". Research shows that the magic ratio of appreciations to negative feedback is 5:1 and that there is an upper limit where productivity can worsen if the ratio goes higher than 13 : Most of us aren’t guilty of giving too many. Effective appreciations are individualized, specific and authentic. We don’t know what acknowledgements are most meaningful to anyone unless we ask. Otherwise, we tend to acknowledge in the way we appreciate. "What the most meaningful acknowledgement you received at work?" is a useful question. Do onto others as they would have you do onto them. Be specific in your praise. Tell people exactly what it is you appreciate and why. Much more effective than the "good job" or "you’re great". Telling is also important. You can do acknowledgements via email but face-to-face is even more powerful. Hand-written notes are very meaningful for most people, and usually saved. Say it only if you really mean it. Separate your acknowledgements from anything that could be perceived as negative, avoid the sugarcoated spitball approach. Make sure there is no "but" in your acknowledgement. Otherwise, you are training folks to be wary of your praise. Let’s grow beyond the predictable and often gratuitous "employee of the month" program. Get creative. Ask your team what acknowledgment systems are most meaningful. You could also start each meeting with acknowledgements. Each person shares a personal win and then an acknowledgement of someone else, make it part of your culture. In closing, I want to express my profound gratitude to all of you: to my dear friends, valued clients, beloved family and all who take time in your busy day to read my Notes every month. I feel extremely blessed to love my work as much as I do and to have such a quality network of friends and clients in my life. Food for ThoughtI can live for two months on a good compliment.—Mark Twain You simply will not be the same person two months from now after consciously giving thanks each day for the abundance that exists in your life. And you will have set in motion an ancient spiritual law: the more you have and are grateful for, the more will be given you. — Sarah Ban Breathnach, Simple Abundance The subtle secret to possessing all you want: Blessing all you have." Unknown LaughterA kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.The girl replied, "I'm drawing God. " The teacher paused and said, "but no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied, "They will in a minute." Back to the Notes from the Coach Table of Contents |
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