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Conversational Minefields - November 2004

Musing

I had the privilege of helping Village Books move their store in October and
it was a peak moving experience!. I got to be in the gas of 149 staff and
volunteers moving a large book store to a new venue. It was sensuous
touching and arranging all those wonderful books. It was also an experience
of inspiring group energy, collaboration and team work.
We laughed much and worked hard. That so many volunteers came in on a
weekend is a tribute to the role of Village Books in this community.

I reflected that this team moving experience is my vision for all work
groups in this community, but also for our country after this election that
has left us much divided. In spite of my huge disappointment around the
results, I am even more committed to creating collaboration, dialogue and
understanding among all people in this community and country.

As Thanksgiving rapidly approaches, I want to express my profound
gratitude to all of you, my dear friends, valued clients and beloved family
for making time in your busy day to read my "Notes" every month. I feel
extremely blessed to love my work as much as I do and to have such quality
relationships in my life.

Tool

Speaking of the recent election, I realize we're often advised not to bring
up politics or religion in social or workplace conversations. The fear is
that we'll alienate or offend others or cause friction and discomfort.

My hope is that we learn to discuss politics--or any other
sensitive subject for that matter--in ways that do not make the other our
adversary. Our goal would be to increase learning and understanding on both
parts and in the process, enrich our relationship.

Rather than avoiding these types of discussions, I encourage you to seek
them out and embrace them.

None of us owns the whole truth - including any political party or religion.
We all own a piece of the truth (our truth). We need to be willing to
collectively interrogate our realities, listen to each other with the
intention of understanding and learning, be curious about others "truths",
And share our reality respectfully, without condemnation.

In this season of gratitude, I am very thankful to live in a Democracy,
which is sometimes messy, but always challenging and enlivening.

So, this Thanksgiving, as you gather with friends and family and venture
into various minefields like politics and religion, remember:

Be curious about the passions and "truths" of others
Listen with the intent to understand and learn
Before you speak, check your intention: Is it to make them wrong,
change their mind, or to be known and seen?
Be willing to speak your passion, your truth
Be willing to even change your mind
Be willing to laugh and take yourself a bit more lightly
Most importantly, give thanks for these companions who challenge you to
your best! May your Thanksgiving celebration be rich in more ways than one.

Food for Thought

A mind stretched to a new idea never returns to its original dimensions.
Oliver wendell holmes


'Whenever anyone has offended me, I try to raise my soul
so high that the offense cannot reach it.'
--Rene Descartes

Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard,
solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for
easy answers and half-baked solutions. Nothing pains
some people more than having to think.'
--Martin Luther King, Jr.

Laugh of the Month

Pun Humor: A Frog Goes Into a Bank

This pun, sent to me by a colleague, is sooooo bad, it is good!

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can
see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The
frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick
Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with
some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny
porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and
perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult
with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called
Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to
borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the
world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says...

"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His
old man's a Rolling Stone."



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