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Musing
This has been an intense month of loss for me. My health care provider
died suddenly in a fishing accident, and my pastor, Donel, McClellan, died
from cancer. I also have a dear friend and colleague dealing with cancer.
Grief is no stranger to me. I know the pain ultimately subsides and another
island of sorrow is added to my experience, to be accessed whenever I wish.
It's all part of experiencing life as a deep organ chord, with rich lows
and highs.
Tool
“ The lamb and the lion shall lie down together, but the lamb will not
be very sleepy." —Woody Allen
When I facilitate a retreat or teambuilding, it seems that the topic of
TRUST is almost always on the agenda. How can we build more trust of each
other on this team? I love Covey's metaphor of trust as an emotional bank
account you have with another person. Certain behaviors make deposits,
and certain behaviors are withdrawals, sometimes resulting in bankruptcy!
I'd like this month to address one behavior that builds trust: keeping
your word. I believe every time we make an agreement with someone else
and we don't keep it, we make a withdrawal from the account, no matter
how clever our excuse or reason. The following questions are for your reflection:
How frequently does someone have to follow up with me on things I have
agreed to do? How often do I drop the ball or let new priorities take precedence
over previous commitments? How often do I try to solve an immediate problem
by committing to things I probably can’t do? How often do I make "small
agreements" like "I’ll get this to you by Monday" and then
find other things get in the way? Do I casually agree to keep something "between
you and me" and then find myself violating the confidentially agreement?
If we pay a price every time we break an agreement, then it is essential
that we say "YES' very carefully and Consciously. Your word stands
for you.
Food for Thought
If your heart is broken, let it be broken open. Alan Cohen I thank my pastor,
Donel McClellan, for the following benediction: BENEDICTION May God bless
you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships,
so that you may live deep within your heart. May god bless you with anger
at injustice, oppression and exploitation, so that you may work for justice,
freedom and peace. May god bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer,
so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and turn their pain
into joy. May god bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you
can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim
cannot be done. Amen
Laughter
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8
year-olds, “What does love mean?"
- “When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over
and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all
the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
- Rebecca- age 8 “When someone loves you, the way they say your
name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy
- age 4
- “Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes
a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny
- age 7
- “Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired
of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy
and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" Emily
- age 8
- "Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop
opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
- "If you want to learn to love better, you should start with
a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more
Nikka's on this planet)
- "When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little
stars come out of you." (what an imagination) Karen - age 7
- "Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't
think it's gross." Mark - age 6
Musing
I have taken a three-month hiatus from this newsletter as I attempted to
scale back my work this summer for some added playtime. Even though I worked
hard this summer, I managed to play with gusto - much hiking, biking, and
kayaking. I hope you all managed to "vacate" this summer and
enjoy the sunshine. I get concerned when I hear employers say how they,
and their employees, have so much unused vacation time. Have you had your
summer yet? Given the recent Labor Day Holiday, I hope you celebrated your "labor",
both past and present! If you don't love and celebrate your work, then
please give yourself permission to find something else. Life is too short
to make a dying at your work every day.
Tool
Last newsletter I started to talk about building and maintaining trust
on a team at work, and addressed the power of keeping your word. This month
I want to talk about another factor in trust - being competent. I think
about my health care providers - they may be honest and keep their word,
but I need to believe they are competent as well. So do your employees
and co-workers. Some ways to instill confidence in your competency are:
Be willing to say "I don't know" and then finding the answer
Admitting mistakes openly - and acknowledging what you learned from them
Acknowledging the desire for personal improvement and asking others to
support you by giving you feedback Demonstrating your commitment to life-long
learning by continually updating your skills and knowledge, particularly
in the leadership area Demonstrate that you are willing to change your
mind when presented with other points of view or new data All of these
behaviors take personal courage and willingness to invest time and energy
in learning. They also give a powerful meta-message to your staff and co-workers
- that this organization values growth and learning as much as productivity.
Food for Thought
" It is easy to fool yourself. It is possible to fool the people you work
for. It is more difficult to fool the people you work with. But it is almost
impossible to fool the people who work under you."
— Harry B. Thayer
Laughter
It's fall, so it must be time for more puns. Enjoy!
- Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony
wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
- Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my
electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first
replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
- Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
- A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
- Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does
this taste funny to you?"
- Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly, “I
was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe
you," said Dolly. “It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.
- An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing
to look at either.
- I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
- Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, “Is the bar tender
here?"
- A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: “A
beer please, and one for the road."
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