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Musing
I'm sitting in my office today delighting in the smell, sound and sight
of the rain coming down. I have missed it! My seeds and starts in the vegetable
garden are grateful also. I love riding my bicycle around the County savoring
the spectacular blooming trees, bulbs and azaleas. In this season of renewal
I find myself excited about possibilities - for my business, my life, and
my community.
I am aware of a deep sadness around the Terry Shiavo case. It is so tragic
that a person's right to live and die with dignity can become such a political
and judicial issue. As a former nurse and hospice worker, I know it doesn't
have to happen.
Please make sure your living will is up-to-date and that someone knows
where it is. If you don't have one, I recommend http://www.agingwithdignity.org.
They have a very detailed one called "Five Wishes" that only
costs $5.00.
Tool
I've facilitated several teambuilding workshops lately that have wanted
to address the issue of gossiping in the workplace. The fall-out for these
organizations has been conflict among the management team, hurt feelings,
decreased trust and escalating rumors that had no resemblance to the truth.
First, let's acknowledge that gossiping will never go away. It meets people's
needs to socialize, to be included, to be "in the know", to be
special, and sometimes to get revenge. Juicy gossip can also provide some
needed drama and excitement in an otherwise boring week.
Some guidelines, however, are critical:
- People judge your character by how you talk about people who are
not present. Even though others may participate with you in bad-mouthing
someone else, they register you as a less-than-safe person to be with
and are wondering what you say about them.
- There is no trivial comment ever made by a leader. If you are in
a leadership position, every comment is noticed and given meaning.
Never, never speak negatively about any other member of the management
team or ANY employee. This includes non-verbal comments, like eye rolling
when their name is mentioned or heavy sighs. People will be eager to
talk about your negative judgments and they will spread faster than
a virus. Again, you are only degrading your own character and reputation.
- If you hear what sounds like a rumor, gently ask the person if they
have "checked it out" with the source or would be willing
to do so. Do not feed the rumor mill.
- If you are with someone or a group and the talk turns to bad-mouthing
someone else, politely excuse yourself, or gently say something like "I'm
uncomfortable talking about _______ when they are not here. Let's change
the subject".
- Some groups I have worked with have agreed to the following guideline:
When you gossip, you must acknowledge it to the person about whom you
gossiped. "Bob, I gossiped about you yesterday to Terry, and this
is what I said. . .". Whether or not the group agrees to this
rule, you could adopt it for yourself.
Believe me, it will result in you being VERY careful what you say about
another person. You will also discover that we often gossip positively
about another, but never tell them directly!
Food for Thought
" Improve relationships with others by assuming that they can hear everything
you say about them." Stephen R. Covey "Small people talk about others.
Big people talk about events. Great people talk about ideas." unknown
Laughter
A friend sent me the following. At the risk of being politically incorrect,
here goes:
NEWSPAPERS AND WHO READS THEM
- The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
- The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.
- The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the
country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.
- USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country
but don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like
their statistics shown in pie charts.
- The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the
country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.
- The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's
running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a
seat on the train.
- The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country
but need the baseball scores
- The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there
is a country... or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose
all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders
are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also happen to
be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy provided, of course,
that they are not Republicans.
- The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery
store.
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