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Musing
Well, it’s that time of year again, the OLYMPICS! I especially like the
winter Olympics, because of my on-going love affair with snow. One of my
driving needs is to feel inspired, and the Olympics is a great strategy
for this. I love the moving stories of ordinary folks overcoming great
odds and moving on to give it their best and sometimes stand on the winning
podium. I admit that one of my ongoing fantasies is that I’m competing
in the cross-country ski races (that fantasy helps me improve my time out
on the track!) My hero so far in these games is Joey Cheek. Besides his
great name and looks, this American speed skater that won the men’s 500-meter
event, has donated his $25,000 gold-medal bonus to a humanitarian organization
aiding refugees of the Sudan’s horrific violence. Now that’s a guy with
class! May every day be Valentine’s Day, where love and generosity are
our focus.
Tool
I am feeling the need again to rant and nag about the abuse of email, especially
in the workplace. As a mediator and facilitator, I see the consequences
of this misuse of email every day in my work. Many workplace wars begin
with, or are escalated by, one email. Email is a wonderful tool, don’t
know how I functioned without it. However, it is like any tool, it can
be used effectively or destructively. Please remember that 85% of communication
is non-verbal, your tone, body language, volume, facial expression. I,
as the receiver of an email, have to impose all that 85% on the written
words. What gets in the way is my filter (assumptions, beliefs) about the
sender, myself, the issue and generally how I'm feeling that day. This
creates a message that is ripe for misinterpretation!
I suggest:
- Only use email to dispense information or set appointments. Yes,
it is fast and easy but should not be a short cut for dialogue. It
actually takes more time to "clean-up" when something is
misconstrued. Let's start "talking" to each again!
- For those of you who tend to avoid conflict and confrontation: never
use email to give feedback unless it is glowingly positive. Yes, it
certainly is safer, you don’t need to hang in for their reply and
have a dialogue. Unfortunately, the receiver can’t ask clarifying questions
and your feedback is sure to be misinterpreted and result in negative
feelings. Go in person or use the telephone.
- Make sure you are in your cortex and not your reptilian brain when
you respond to or initiate an email. If you find yourself feeling ANY
strong negative emotion as you compose something - save it in draft
file and leave it there at least 24 hrs before sending it.
- Most of us have a very full inbox. Part of this is the misuse of
the “cc" option. Does everyone need to read your reply?
Are you copying someone with a message that violates someone’s confidentiality
or boundaries ( a powerful way to get revenge)? Do you have my permission
to pass this message onto another supervisor, colleague, department?
- Change the subject line when the topic has changed. Some people file
their emails at work.
- Using all caps is the Internet equivalent of shouting and is often
perceived as discourteous or offensive.
- Hopefully, it is obvious that you should avoid all workplace gossiping
of any kind in email. It will eventually be discovered and
come back to haunt you.
Food for Thought
To love a person is to learn the song that is in their heart, and to sing
it to them when they have forgotten.
—Anonymous
Laughter
A friend sent me these comments about “aging" (which we’re all
doing, by the way!)
- I feel like my body had gotten totally out of shape, so I got my
doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I
decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated,
jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got
my leotards on, the class was over.
- Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: “And what do you
think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.
She simply replied, “No peer pressure."
- The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter
eggs.
- Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very
elderly widow and asked, “How old was your husband?" “98," she
replied “Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the
undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home,
is it?
- An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher
she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second,
she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. "Wal-Mart?" the
preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?" "Then I'll be sure
my daughters visit me twice a week."
- My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not
as sharp as it used to be.
- Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
- I'm getting into swing dancing. Not on purpose. Some parts of my
body are just prone to swinging.
- It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.
- These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For
fast relief."
- Don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner
child playing with matches.
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